Valerie Bertinelli, the Food Network star, has been transparent with her followers about her healing journey following her divorce. In a recent Instagram story, she shared some inspiring words of wisdom for anyone going through a tough time. Her message was simple yet powerful: “When something is toxic, and it’s only ever been that…Do your best to heal your way to indifference. You do not have to forgive to move on.”
Bertinelli was inspired by a similar sentiment shared by Taylor Swift in an interview with CBS Sunday Morning in 2019. In that interview, Swift stated that “you don’t have to forgive and you don’t have to forget to move on. You can move on without any of those things. You just become indifferent and you move on.”
Bertinelli’s message of healing comes after her divorce from Tom Vitale, her ex-husband, in 2022. She filed for divorce in May 2022, six months after filing for legal separation in November 2021. In November 2022, she celebrated what she called the “second best day of my life,” when she officially became divorced from Vitale.
Bertinelli has been open about the emotional, verbal, and mental abuse she has experienced in the past. She recently shared about “hidden bruises” that emotional abuse can cause. “Hidden bruises are something that emotional, verbal, and mental abuse do to you,” she explained. “People can’t see [them] but we got to deal with [them] every day when they’re activated.”
Despite the pain she has endured, Bertinelli is focused on healing. She has found solace in journaling, therapy, and humor. In February, she even shared a lighthearted moment when she activated a hidden bruise by putting on a pair of pants she was once ridiculed for wearing. Though the memory once caused her shame, she now feels liberated to wear them again.
Bertinelli’s message is clear: you do not have to forgive those who have hurt you to move on. Healing is a journey, and it looks different for everyone. But with time, patience, and self-love, it is possible to find peace and happiness. As Bertinelli said, “You deserve peace.”